I Can't Think Of Decent Fanfic Titles To Save My Life
by Leto
Part 4

After James learnt how to ride on Gyarados without hyperventilating, the journey actually went pretty well. Hmm... actually, that may be a slight exaggeration. When I say 'went pretty well' I mean in comparison to what could have happened... nobody died or was hypnotised into doing stupid things or found themselves cross dressing, for example. On the other hand...

"Pidgeoooooo!" caws Pidgeotto, expressing displeasure at having to transport a cat.

"Meowth, don't worry, you're too big to eat," replies Meowth, not wanting his ride to become offended.

"Pidgeoo... pigeon!"

"I know dis is stupid... but Meowth don't have a choice. But if you're ever feeling upset, there's one thing you can always remember dat'll perk you up."

Pikachu glanced at Meowth from its position on Horsea. They said in unison "Pika pi, pi pika pikachu!"

Pidgeotto stares in confusion for a moment, then starts laughing madly along with Pikachu and Meowth. Horsea and Squirtle soon join in. Everyone else gets annoyed again.

"You know, I'd REALLY like to know what this private joke is," scowls Brock.

"Pi pi pi pigeoooo pi pi pi pigeooo!"

You haven't heard funny until you've heard a Pidgeotto laugh. Now that Pidgeotto has started, I think the five Pokemon will be out of action for hours. Horsea's motion becomes increasingly erratic as it tries to swim while laughing hysterically.

That's one problem solved, but then comes another.

"Jessie, I don't feel so good." James' face is an unhealthy looking shade of green. Jessie doesn't look too pleased that she's sharing a Pokemon with him.

"Well, get away from me then!"

"My stomach's not agreeing with me."

Jessie smacked him and said "make it agree then!"

In response, James throws up over the side of the Gyarados.

Jessie squeals and climbs up Gyarados' neck, finds herself looking into a mouth of sharp teeth and winds up jumping off.

"Uh, hello Brock," she says breathlessly as she lands right on him and Staryu.

"Is this 'jump on Brock' day?" Brock groans. "First James, then the fat Joy, now you..."

Staryu groans "Deman..."

"Oh gross," says Ash, referring to James. "Squirtle, swim faster!"

Everyone takes off at a faster speed but since Gyarados is the fastest swimmer anyway, it doesn't do much. Jessie tags along on Staryu, almost on top of Brock (much to Brock's interest ^_^.) until James' face returns to its normal colour.

Nobody speaks for several moments, the only sound is the occasional squeaking laughter of Pokemon.

"At least Togepi got a traditional burial at sea," says James, trying to lighten the mood. He fails dismally, because upon hearing this, Misty spins around on Starmie and yells "Starmie, swift attack!"

Perhaps it would have been a better display of common sense if Misty had dismounted Starmie before she ordered it to attack. As it was, Starmie ends up launching itself and Misty towards Gyarados, and crashes into it in a flash of stars.

"I meant... swift attack on James... not the Gyarados..." croaks Misty, before collapsing and sinking underwater.

"Misty!" yell Brock and Ash. Both move to order the Pokemon they ride on to help Misty, both remember they themselves can't swim, both stay put.

"Can either of you swim?" ask Brock and Ash desperately of Jessie and James.

"I'm good at swimming down," offers James.

"Good, swim down and help Misty!"

"But I'm not quite so good at swimming back up again..."

Everyone gets sweatdrops, and Jessie reluctantly dives into the water.

Everyone waits anxiously, watching the water surface. Except for Ash, who is preoccupied.

"Uh, guys, I think you should look at this," he says anxiously. Nobody acknowledges him at all.

A few bubbles float to the top. A minute passes. Then two.

"Misty..." says Brock sounding sad.

"Guys, I really think you should-" begins Ash.

Suddenly, a huge fountain of water splashes up and into everyone's faces. The source of the fountain, wild and panicked, leaps onto the nearest solid object, which happens to be Brock.

"Ow, not again!"

Arbok hisses and wraps itself around Brock, hoping for some sort of refuge from the water surrounding it. It doesn't get it. Brock tries to pry the giant Pokemon off and fails dismally. The two struggle and collapse into the water. Staryu catches Brock, and with an effort, lifts it, and attached cobra (sold seperately!) back above the surface.

"Get off get off get off get off!" wails Brock.

"Chaaarbok!" meaning, "let me stay!"


"Bok!" meaning, "please!"

"Everyone!" yells Ash. "Look at this!" Everyone still ignores him. Then, Jessie resurfaces with a dazed Misty and Starmie in tow, gasping for air.

"Arbok!" she yells, "you were supposed to help us swim back up, not half drown us!"

"Char char! Charbok!" meaning "I hate water!"

Jessie groans "give me strength" and grabs Arbok's Pokeball. "Arbok, return!" she says, throwing it at the snake.

However, instead of Arbok being drawn into the ball, something is drawn out.

"Lickitung!" burbles the Pokemon, appearing.

"Guys, over here!" yells Ash, sounding increasingly panicked.

Staryu, now holding up Brock, Arbok and Lickitung, the latter two of whom are certainly not light, starts making wheezing sounds.

"Deman... de... deman..."

"Lickitung, return!" Jessie quickly calls Lickitung back and stares at the Pokeball in confusion. "That's the only Pokeball I have here..."

"Boku?" says Arbok, not quite understanding.

"I think I must've dropped your Pokeball down there," says Jessie, pointing into the ocean, and getting a sweatdrop.

"AAAARBOKU! Char char charbok! Charbok! Chaaarbok! Boku! Boku boku boku bokuuuu!" meaning, well, I'd prefer to not translate for the sake of keeping this story child friendly. ^_^.

Did I say you'd never heard funny until you've heard a Pidgeotto laugh? Well, you've never *seen* funny until you've seen an Arbok cry.


Aren't I mean. ^_^.

Arbok's hysterics are cut short by a sudden growl of "GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Pidgeotto, Pikachu, Squirtle, Horsea and Meowth stop laughing. (Almost. It's hard to stop that abruptly.)

Arbok stops shrieking.

Jessie stops nervously trying to pacify Arbok.

Brock stops trying to peel Arbok off him.

Misty looks up, fuzzily.

All eyes turn towards the Gyarados.

"I told you all, but you wouldn't listen!" begins Ash.

The Gyarados, shall we say, looks a mite displeased. You might even say it's ragingly PO'd. And you'd be right. Its eyes flash an ominous silver. Its teeth sparkle in the afternoon light. Its -

"We get the point already, it's scary looking, get on with it," snaps Misty.

*sniffles* It's so hard to write a story when the characters protest at everything you do!

"Cry me a river."

Oh, I will!

Suddenly, it begins to rain, and rather hard at that.

The rain splattering all around seems to enrage the Gyarados, more so.

"Misty, from now on, keep your mouth shut!" yells Ash, above the sound of the torrential rain, the Gyarados growling and the Arbok making choking noises.

Do bear in mind that James is still on Gyarados' back. He desperately tries to pacify it, but remember that tact is not James' strong point, as shown before when the whole half-the-characters-nearly-drown part of the story took place.

"You don't want to attack everyone!" he says nervously, "I mean, just because we stole you from your trainer, forced you to demean yourself by being a boat, were attacked by a Starmie and -"

"SHUT UP JAMES!" everyone else shouts in unison. The Pokemon have truly stopped laughing now.

The Gyarados takes on a familiar position. One not seen since the fiasco after the Saint Anne had sunk. Everyone gulps, and silently take hands. Poor James is still stuck on Gyarados, and clutches on for dear life as Gyarados begins spinning round, performing a trademark attack...

In a huge funnel of water, everyone finds themselves spinning wildly and all that can be heard is the sound of gushing water as the characters find themselves being thrown violently over the horizon, disappearing in a sparkling star.



Brock is the first to land, and everyone else lands on top of him. I think that 'oof' sums it up nicely. ^_^.

Ash groans as he picks himself up. "Deja vu... where are we?"

Misty groans as she picks herself up. "Deja vu... where are our water Pokemon?"

Pikachu, Pidgeotto, Meowth and Arbok are the only Pokemon to be seen.

Jessie groans as she picks herself up. "Deja vu... WHERE'S JAMES?!"

"Why is that a deja vu?"

"Shut up!"

"Boku bokkkkk" shudders Arbok, meaning "I am traumatised for life."

Brock groans but is unable to pick himself up. "Is this Sea Foam Island?"

"I don't think so..." ventures Meowth.

"Let's see if we can find somebody to ask," begins Misty.

"And then we'll look for our Pokemon!" finishes Ash.

The others agree, and head off to look for someone. Brock, left on the ground, groans "Guys! Guys, could you help me out here? GUYS?!"


"We're on CINNABAR ISLAND?!" screeches Misty. "That's way off target!" The person who gave the information looks nervously at Misty and scuttles away.

"We have to find James right away," says Jessie nervously. "He must be still out in the middle of the ocean..."

"You're right," agrees Ash, "we'd better find James. But there's one thing we have to do first."

"What's that?"

Ash points to a nearby building. A sign out the front says "Cinnabar Island Pokémon Gym". Everyone facefaults.

"Don't be stupid! We're wasting time!" snaps Jessie.

Ash doesn't look as though he's going to listen until Jessie points out, "I hear that gym leader uses fire Pokemon. Without Squirtle, your chances aren't so good. We'll have to look for everyone first."

Ash reluctantly agrees, then suddenly notices something.

"Hey, where's Brock?"

Everyone looks around, puzzled. Brock is nowhere to be found.

"Oh, just great, now we've got two people to look for," sighs Meowth.

Arbok is still trembling all over.

"Pika, pikachu," says Pikachu, meaning "oh for heaven's sake, get over it."

Arbok goes big and scary and towers over Pikachu. The two begin an unmonitored Pokemon battle as the humans discuss things.

"I'm fed up with being wet," says Jessie, "so we'll take a boat this time."

(In the background: "Kachuuuuuuu!")

"We were going to do that in the first place but we didn't have enough money, remember that?"

(In the background: "Chaaaaa!")

"Money ain't a problem for Meowth!"

"What are you talking about, Meowth?"

Meowth smiles proudly and says "Dere is a little useful attack known to myself and other Meowths called 'Pay Day'. I believe it should come in quite handy. Just send out a Pokemon so I can use it."


"Uh, okay," says Ash, a bit apprehensively. "Bulbasaur, go!"

The coin on Meowth's head glows slightly as Meowth leaps towards Bulbasaur. Doing a sort of headbutt to Bulbasaur causes the coin to flash brilliantly and many replicas of the original coin spin around Bulbasaur before striking it, then fall to the ground.


"Wow," gasp Misty and Ash.

"You knew how to do that all this time and you didn't TELL US?!" shrieks Jessie, going huge and scary. "What about all the times we've been flat broke, and you kept this little power of yours a SECRET?!"

Meowth gulps and croaks out "I only learnt it last week..."


"Oh." Jessie returns to normal.

After performing several Pay Days (much to Bulbasaur's dismay), enough money to hire a boat has been collected.

"Okay, Pikachu, let's go!" says Ash.

"Come on, Arbok!" calls Jessie.

There's no response, and the two turn to see their Pokemon looking rather dishevelled. Arbok is charred and twitching with paralysis while Pikachu is breathing heavily, drained from poison, with telltale teeth marks in its side.

Ash and Jessie get sweatdrops.

"Great, just great, you two!" snaps Misty. "Now we have to go to the Pokemon Center and this whole thing'll take even longer!"

Arbok and Pikachu cower under the fierce anger of Misty.

"Let's go, everyone, we're wasting too much time already!" Misty whacks everyone over the head and then grabs them by the scruff of their necks (Arbok is exempt, because it doesn't have one; it gets draped over Misty's shoulder instead) and drags them off to the Pokemon Center.

"This is..." groans Ash, with no little sarcasm, "a really... fun journey..."

"Welcome..." groans Jessie, "to our world..."

"And just think," adds Misty, "the author said at the beginning that our journey here went pretty well. I'd hate to see what 'pretty bad' is like..."

Everyone sighs.

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